Question: My boyfriend might be dying
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missplaced Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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#10

Jan 30, 2009, 08:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrebel7 View Post

I think what you share is fairly typical. When a person does not want to face an issue, they fill up their time with those who are not aware of the problem so they don't they don't have to talk about it or think about it, Also when he gets into the deeper parts of depression he will push away those he knows really love him and if they stay, it affirms they really do love him. I can't stress enough the importance of you keeping a balance in your life. He needs to know if he pushes you away too many times or shuts you out too long at a time, that he is sending you the message he does not care about you (although you know it is not true, that is the message it sends). Talk about this type of situation when he is having a good day and is thinking clearly. We all are responsible for decisions we make, even when we are depressed. Our thinking is cloudy and we don't think correctly when in a deep depression. He just needs to know if you are going to be able to help him through this time, then he holds some responsibility in this relationship to make good choices regarding you.

As I stated earlier, communication will be key for you both. I will be unavailable for a couple of days but I know there will be others coming along to share insight. I will check back so keep posting.
Thanks again jrebel7! Actually we had that conversation the day after the diagnose. He told me about the side effects of the therapy and how he's afraid that I'm going to leave him because of that. I replied that I won't leave cause i'll know that he is depressed and nervous because of the therapy and not because he doesn't love me. He is so thoughtful even in this situation. He remembered to call and wish me good luck on my exam right after he found out that he was sick. I know that when he starts the treatment his mood will become progressively worse but on the hardest day he thought of me. I'm willing to stay with him in his hardest times because of things like that.
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