Hi, I am new to this site , but I am looking for help for my son. My son is 21 years old he has been in college for 3 years and at 3 different Universities. I love him and we use to be very close. Each time he moved from a University it was a move up with outstanding GPA. He is now attending one of the top Universities in the world. I asked him not to transfer because he seemed so happy where he was and he suffers from depression at times, more so in the winter months. He did not listen and moved to this great University but I knew it was not for him. I told him in Fl where he was he had more sun light in the winter months and reminded him of his condition. He has seen Psyhciatrists since high school. He was going to return to college on Jan 5th yet I knew something was wrong. He was not getting up to workout nor was he answering the cell from his friends. I have always told him you have to be happy in what you are doing or you will never succeed. I think he knows he made a mistake changing schools and I ask him if he wanted to go back and the answer was no are you ------. He told me I don't know what to do Dad I am depressed I don't won't to wake up, I just want to stay in my room with the lights out and not talk to anyone. Than I got a call from his best friend who expressed a concern for ---- and said he was not himself. I know it is not drugs. My son has always played lacrosse and was a all-american and will not even take the drugs the Dr. prescrited for him. He is obsessed with clean hands and bathrooms. He is a handsome young man yet finds it hard to communicate with people he does not know. He told me he needs to take a semester off and I agreed he has been working hard and needs help. The problem is every Dr. see's him for 5-10 minutes and prescribes a mix of drugs and says come back in 2 weeks. He and I agree that he needs to talk to someone and not for 5 minutes. He is sick with a cold and he is very angry. He has never talk to myself nor my wife with such disrespect. We need to help him and don't know where to find the right Psyhciatrist that is not on a prescribtion plan only. He does needs help. Does anyone have any feed back. Sorrry for any miss spelling it is late at night.
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Well most Psychiatrist's believe all mental illness is chemical and is to be treated with chemicals; this is not necessarilly a bad thing, and they may be on the right track, but if your son needs someone to talk to then perhaps a Psychologist or some sort of therapist or group would be a better talk choice.

As you've said, your son is a smart man. I am sure that the school he attends has resources for kids struggling with depression and can refer him to either some professionals or other groups that can help which he may be receptive to since they may have a history of helping kids his age going through something similar.

Just as an aside I will give you this personal observation and it has no factual basis; but it has been my experience that sometimes very bright people tend to live in their heads and can get depressed. I would encourage your son in addition to his schooling make a point of getting out and having fun, or finding a hobby which he enjoys and can look forward to on a consistent basis. Something that he doesn't feel the need to be the best at, something he can just relax and have fun with. If that includes a student bike group that goes casual riding on the weekends, or a photography club; anything to help him have some relaxation time and maybe a social life outside of the immediate school.

Sometimes people are just lonely and with a son that is as driven as yours; perhaps he's just forgotten how to take care of himself as a regular person would since he seems so high achieving.

Light therapy. It is quick, simple and has no side effects. It has totally changed me and my winter blues are gone. Sylvania Go-Light is what I have.

Thank you both for your help. I have read and learned from your kindness and will try to get in motion your sugestions. Thank You

Your son is at a *major crossroad* in his life. He must finish college in a timely manner... taking off to be depressed without any meaningful treatment will set him back... kids are likely not to return to their studies.

It concerns me that you both reject medication to help him get back on his feet and be productive. Again, he has got to get back on his feet and get back to college. You have to insist on that. Insist on proper medication to help him deal.

My very best to your son,

Hi Choux, We both don't reject medicine he was on medicine for his high school years. When he got to McGill he wanted off all meds and I ask the Dr to have someone talk to for him along side with the medicine. This morning things are worse he is telling me he wants to die and kill himself. Life sucks I am trying to get him back to the Dr but he is 21 and said he can do what he wants. I love him we were a very close family I don't know what is happening.

He is really going downhill. You have to get him in with a good therapist/psychiatrist today or first thing in the morning. You could take him to the emergency room and have him admitted to the hospital as a danger to himself.

Things are going to have to *change*... he must talk to the therapist he ends up with, no exceptions, no excuses, no false pride. You can't accept his excuses any more. You can do it.

My very best wishes to you and your son, :)

Choux, We did it, took him to the MD and had blood work done. And thearpy he is doing good and thanks for your help it was hard but we did it and will contiue to help him with positive influences.

I can relate to weather depression. It just puts me off my work, which results in my constantly trying to catch up with my class mates. I know for a fact I could easily be one of the top students in my class (not bragging) but the weather just gets me down.

I've never been as depressed as your son, but I can imagine that it's the result of several years of depression, from high school to university, acumulated and then just bursting.

I personally think that your son needs someone he knows well to talk to him. Talking to a physician might make him shy or not want to say the "wrong" thing.

Do try getting the bad thoughts out of his system by talking - drugs should be a last resort, not something to keep him constantly under.

Best of luck to you and your son,

-Xm8