HI. I have 2 step kids who live with their mother in the state of NJ. The kids lived with my boyfriend and I for 1 yr in FL. There was no custody trail and their mother wanted the kids back in NJ. To prevent a bad custody trail, we sent the kids back. Their mother promised them a nice apt in a safe area, a good school, and promised she would enroll them in sports and after school activities. As soon as they arrived in NJ the kids saw that it was all a lie to persuade the kids to WANT to move back with her. She moved into a dangerous area and had the kids walking school and coming home after school on their own. These kids are 12 and 7. She would leave them alone until late at night while she went out and partiied. I called NJ Child Services and a report was filed. She was obligated to put them in an afterschool program with transportation and ordered NEVER to leave the kids alone. The kids call us daily crying saying they want to move back with us because their mom comes home drunk and yells at them and never spends time with them. We wouldlove nothing more than to get the kids back. What age can a child choose what parent they want to live with and what steps should we take in getting custody? At the moment he has summertime custody and he is paying child support. He also pays the afterschoolprogram for one of the kids. Even in the summertime when the kids are in FL he sends the support.

I don't know a lot about this stuff myself, but I do know that the judge would be on your saide. The 12 yr. old would have input in the case because eof the age, but if she is doing that to the kids, then they would be able to move back... easily, and she wouldn't be able to do a thing.

If the mother is unfit, that's the way to go - go to Court and prove that she is unfit and has put them at risk. The Court will provide a social worker/legal guardian to interview the children but at their ages they are too young to pick which parent they want to live with.

If they are in danger this should be done very quickly.