I'm not gay, because I find women very attractive, but I've learned I don't see women as most men do. Most men seem obsessed with physical attractiveness. I like to see a pretty girl for sure, but I get more pleasure out of an emotional bonding than I think I would in a physical, sexual bonding. But I know I'm not gay, because I just have no interest in men at all. Now if I met the right woman, I would be willing to get physical if it were important to her, but it wouldn't be my personal priority. I would do it for her.

Are there any other guys like me at all? The female friends who know how I am tell me they feel safer with me than they would with other men, who seem to want sex, sex, sex.
But I sometimes feel weird when I hear other guys do their "locker room talk" about women's bodies, and I just don't get it.

Does any woman know a man like that? Are there any men like me out there?

Look up Tri-sexual on Google

You may be gay and not comfortable enough with yourself to admit it

No. I'm not gay. I am strongly attracted to women, but not physically. I like pretty girls, but I don't turn into an animal when I see one like my buddies do. But I am very, very attracted to women with very sweet voices, and I really like brown eyes on a girl. I would be willing to have sex with a woman if she were the right one. I just don't see anything attractive in men, so I'm not gay. I know I'm different in the way I am attracted to women though. My buddies go ape and wild over a girl's breasts, or her butt of all things, which is beyond me. The girls I'm most attracted to are the ones who have very soft voices and sweet personalities. I just don't understand the physical attraction that men go ape over. For example, I have a close female friend that I date often, and I'm beginning to have warm feelings for her which might be love... BUT oddly enough, I am not attracted to her physically at all. I do love to hear her voice and I even save her voice messages to hear them again and again, and I miss her when she is gone. Also, I have another female friend whose voice drives me wild, but I am not attracted to her physically.

I just would like to know if I am the Only guy like this, who is not gay, BUT just doesn't feel the physical urges that most men do? I am curious about this. Are there any guys who can relate to this? Other than maybe a monk?

Mark

Hey, don't stress it.
Attraction is not always about sex. And it's not wise to compare yourself according to how your friends act, because many men say and do things that they think are expected of them. Many men think talking about sex and butts and breasts are what's expected when they are in a group of other men. Many of them may notice and love a cute smile or nice hair but don't say it aloud for fear of sounding less than manly.
Biologically, it is also normal that different people have different sex drives.

BUT, pay attention if you completely lack any desire to have sex with women (or men). Are you sexually attracted to anyone?(Men or women?)
There is a group of men and women who label themselves "asexual" as a sexual orientation because they lack any sexual desire or attraction. But this is not a clearly defined label or concept. There are many studies and the scientific community has not reached a consensus about whether "asexuality" is a valid sexual orientation. (Many argue that one must have some sexual attraction.)

So, if you are really worried about this, talk to a health professional. Have you had any history of sexual abuse, or any illness or homonal disorders that might make this lack of sexual attraction related to issues with your mind or body?

Hmm... there may be a biological flaw involved.
Let me explain myself and see if it connects with what your saying.
I am not gay... there are feminin men I can look at and find attractive, but, not arousing in any way. I find women attractive, and I do feel partial stimulation when they walk by and when I see them in all their attractiveness... but... here's the kicker... I can't bring myself to intimacy. I feel no urge to do anything. I get nervous, I get indifferent... I feel cold inside, like something that should be working is dead.
I feel like my proverbial swinging gate is shut... I personally don't care which way it swings... I just want to be attractive to someone sexually and be able to make love to them, or at least casual sex... I can't bring myself to do it with anybody.. period.
I decided to go to the doctor to see if anything comes of it.
I, like you, want to comfort of an emotional bond. I prefer to get close, snuggle, kiss a couple times, and feel like soemone cares... I could care less if it leads to sex.
So.. what is wrong with me? Why don't I want to jump in the sack every time a woman touches me?
If its mental... no amount of therapy or optimism is going to break it, be sure of that.
If its biology, then some sort of physical therapy or internal damage or flaw or something.. I don't know what... may contribute. Hell, I could have a tumor and be emotionally dead.
Who knows... but, at least when the issue is clearer, then, the answer seems easier to come by.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you. If anything, your post implies you're just a really nice guy.

Go you!

Is it possible that you're just really young -- and perhaps inexperienced? Do you think there's any possibility that you're over-thinking these questions to the point where you find yourself lost within them? Do you think there might be a fear factor involved that you're interpreting under a different light? Is it possible that you've learned the (occasional but sometimes profound) benefits of being such a "nice guy" that you don't realize that you've been consumed by those characteristics?

Don't get me wrong. Being a good and nice guy is a good thing. I'm talking about that "nice guy" image that is so locked into the "role" that he never takes big risks, never shows a hard opinion, never hits on girls who haven't made their own interests overwhelmingly clear... I might be going in the wrong direction with this, but those might be some questions to consider in your own life.

I know that there are plenty of guys who will brag hard-core in the locker room. Some of them are so intent to do so that they'll even exaggerate the truth. Like it or not, it's a guy bonding thing. I'm sure cavemen did it too. ;)

Still, there are also plenty of guys who aren't like that. Not all guys are vocal about their conquests. And, as you might have seen from the dozens upon dozens of threads from women whose partners appear disinterested in having sex with them (there are different reasons for each, but hang with me on this), there are also a fair number of men who don't have boiling hot sex drives.

If you want to want to be more sexual, I think you should talk to your doctor to rule out any potential hormonal imbalances or other issues. If it's an emotional thing, I think you should work on growing into whoever it is you really are.

Closed because of dates.

The OP can PM me to have the thread re-opened, if interested.