I can relate to this post as you sound like your living the life I went through at about your age.

The bad news, it hurts as you learn, no way around it, and your absolutely right, this won't be the last time your tested.

It does get better as you learn to cope with the bad stuff, and enjoy the good.

God willing, you will find yourself in your 50's/60's, and bouncing grandkids on your belly-welly, with your soulmate, and look back on these times, with a little emotion for times gone by, and nostalga at the feeling you had then. .

For now you can't see the things you will have to endure, or the experiences, that are ahead of you.

Pay attention to yourself, and your feelings, as you learn about you, and how you deal with your life, and just try to enjoy the journey. Love yourself, so you can share something good with others..