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dontknow76 · Aug 25, 2008, 08:23 AM

I should have not done this I thought he with this would learn his behavior of drinking was out of control and reasons to why he lost his teenage daughters from his ex (yes part of her doings) but part his by spending his weekends as a drunken idiot he's been better since the year I've been with him but I'm not a drinker and therefore I don't like the stupidness from it. I was informed by requesting this order since we were both at each others nerves this would force him into councling the judge looked upset at both of us he lives in Illinois I live in Missouri so she couldn't give us both orders just said both stay away. I"m expecting and he as agreed to getting family councling with me as well as going on his own to talk about the problems he has prior to me with his ex wife and children. I think we've just needed a break at any note i need help with finding out what i do to get this dropped. We both have thrown things at each other i just didn't expect to get a red bull can to explode in my face and hurt me as much as it did. But i as well threw a water bottle at the fence (not at him) he's 6"4 I'm 5 "3 and anyway we both need the councling. I just need advice as to the best way to get this dropped.
AND ASAP I WOULD LIKE HIM TO BE AT THE NEXT FEW DOC APTS W/ME AS WELL AS START THE COUNCLING. AND I LIVE IN A VERY NICE SUBDIVISION IN SAINT LOUIS AND THE COPS IF THEY SEE HIS CAR OR WORK TRUCK AT MY HOUSE I KNOW THEY WILL ARREST HIM.
PLEASE SOMEONE HELP

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dontknow76 · Aug 25, 2008, 08:32 AM

I thought I posted in the right place the last time basically we both have had some issues that have needed resolved. I am not a drinker never have been and he is a big one I do think he has a problem but I understand they have to want the help at any note we both had been fighting so bad we had started with so much anger and we had each thrown things at each other I threw a water bottle at the fence he threw a redbull can (full) and cold and it smacked me in the face. I called the police filed report etc.. Now feeling horrible he served 24 hrs in jail thinking OK he's going to learn he needs help. He and I appeared in court over the order of protection all I wanted was for him to get councling. He claims no problem etc.. Judge chewed both of our rears out for our behavior. I live in Mo he lives in Illinois so he could not file for one in courts in Saint Louis County he doesn't live here. I'm pregnant and we have both spoken for first time after weeks of this hell.
And agreed we both would seek councling. I need as well I have a attitude and really have issues with the trust thing as well as the fact his ex wife is a pain in our buts she has just turned his kids against him w/saying things to 15 and 13 year old girls that shouldn't know anything about their issues as well as his behavior of drinking over the years didn't help. I think he will not first see that it's an issue says he use to drink a lot but not as much which is scarry to wonder how much he did then. I need to know the best way of requesting for the order of protection to be dropped. We are already set to seek a councelr this week. And we are both violatiing my order.

JudyKayTee · Aug 25, 2008, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by dontknow76

I should of not done this I thought he with this would learn his behavior of drinking was out of control and reasons to why he lost his teenage daughters from his ex (yes part of her doings) but part his by spending his weekends as a drunken idiot he's been better since the year i've been with him but I'm not a drinker and therefore I don't like the stupidness from it. I was informed by requesting this order since we were both at each others nerves this would force him into councling the judge looked upset at both of us he lives in Illinois I live in Missouri so she couldn't give us both orders just said both stay away. I"m expecting and he as agreed to getting family councling with me as well as going on his own to talk about the problems he has prior to me with his ex wife and children. I think we've just needed a break at any note i need help with finding out what i do to get this dropped. We both have thrown things at each other i just didn't expect to get a red bull can to explode in my face and hurt me as much as it did. But i as well threw a water bottle at the fence (not at him) he's 6"4 I'm 5 "3 and anyways we both need the councling. I just need advice as to the best way to get this dropped.
AND ASAP I WOULD LIKE HIM TO BE AT THE NEXT FEW DOC APTS W/ME AS WELL AS START THE COUNCLING. AND I LIVE IN A VERY NICE SUBDIVISION IN SAINT LOUIS AND THE COPS IF THEY SEE HIS CAR OR WORK TRUCK AT MY HOUSE I KNOW THEY WILL ARREST HIM.
PLEASE SOMEONE HELP

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In NYS once you make the domestic complaint you cannot drop it.

The rest of this is your personal business and this is a criminal law board but you didn't expect a "can to explode in your face and hurt me as much as it did" and you are staying with him?

And, yes, if he's been ordered to stay away and he does not he can and possibly will be arrested.

Depressed in MO · Aug 25, 2008, 09:08 AM

Hi I live in Missouri near STL. I once filed a restraining order on someone for far much worse than that.

I should have kept it, but nonetheless, here is a personal experience for you related to your question:

All I had to do was take my copy of the restraining order up to the courthouse where I filed for it originally and have a judge sign off on my request to drop it.

In some cases, depending on how bad it looks to the judge, they will not let you drop your order of protection and then the state will pursue it against him-with or without your consent.

So, take your paperwork to the courthouse and start from there.

Good luck