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    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #21

    Aug 1, 2008, 05:17 AM
    Yeah dressing up 'classy' sexy (rather than slutty like so many girls do) will often catch a guys eye that never noticed you before. Also colors that look really right for you work for you too.
    Guys might be seeing you as all serious and only into your books.
    sassy lioness's Avatar
    sassy lioness Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #22

    Aug 1, 2008, 06:10 AM
    I have 2 words be confident boys are shy if you see someone and there showing the slightest bit of interest hang around with them make yourself approachable
    mimi03's Avatar
    mimi03 Posts: 201, Reputation: 45
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    #23

    Aug 1, 2008, 07:10 AM
    Ok this is my last post here.

    I hope you can someday (very soon hopefully) realize intellect is not everything. And although you claim to be very smart YOU came here for advice and now you are unhappy with the advice that has been given and feel that no one is answering your post correctly, no one is considering the "facts" you've given.

    This reminds me of the girls that say: "All of my boyfriends have been jerks, they never take me out on dates, call me names, make me feel bad about myself...."

    Well at some point that woman has to look at herself to figure out why she is getting involved with only those type of men/relationships.

    I will go out on a limb and say that you may be coming off as a "know it all"... this is not an attack just an observation...

    There are plenty of men who are attracted to intelligent and educated women BUT NO ONE likes a "know it all". Being an intelligent person can get you to very nice places but being a caring, warm, loving friendly person can link you to many types of people... You have to figure out how to be multidimensional...

    You'll find that there are people who are smarter than you or even have experience that trumps what you've learned. So it's wise to listen and filter. Listen to all advice and filter what you don't need but honey You've trashed ALL of the advice given to you from people here who have and have had what you want (relationships) that's not very smart!

    There are plenty of smart and experienced (with dating) people who have taken their time to try to help you and you've been sarcastic and rude to them. If you are exhibiting this type behavior elsewhere in your life this will only stop people from wanting to get close to you.

    Finally, You keep mentioning that there are unattractive girls who don't do anything to attract men visually but still have relationships... there's a simple explanation for that:: They have someone who do find them visually attractive (although you may think they arent) or they have compatible personalities.

    I wouldn't be surprised if there is someone in you circle of friends that finds you attractive physically but doesn't want to approach you because of you personality... Just do some self evaluating, it's good for us every now and then!

    Remember:: "Smart people learn from their mistakes, Wise people learn from other's mistakes"

    You can be Wise and learn from our experiences with dating or you can be "Smart" and figure it all out through your own trial and error.
    Always_helping's Avatar
    Always_helping Posts: 76, Reputation: 15
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    #24

    Aug 1, 2008, 10:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by flash84x
    yes i agree with this, i consider myself a very intelligent person, hell im an engineer graduate... i should be, but anyway.... there is a time and a place for that... and that is at school or work and when you are in another situation that merits it.... you need a personality that is fun, attractive, interesting, and intriguing... i have no doubt that you are very smart but it is probably in some way narrowed down to a certain area, and guess what people who dont care about that area (i.e. mine is computers/technology) do not want to be bored with details that they dont understand.... you need a generic personality that fits into the norm of society as well....

    also, if you are going out to clubs and such, you still dont dress up? i mean... i'm sure there are guys out there that are into that style (baggy clothes) but personally i'm attracted to women who wear sexy clothes, and i dont mean skimpy clothes... i like women who look professional and confident with themselves.... i dont see that in a girl when i see her walking around with baggy jeans/sweats and a shirt 2-3 sizes too big

    you've made a good point though, if thats who you are and thats all you will ever be, then continue in your ways, but as others have pointed out, it doesnt seem to be working, i say be adventurous and try dressing up one night and going out and see what kind of results you get... sex appeal is a huge deal and just because a guy is attracted to your looks doesn't mean he is looking at you as a piece of meat, you are smart, i am sure you can weed those ones out pretty quick anyway... men are sexual creatures and the first thing they see in a woman is physical attraction

    and again, me personally i would never date a girl that doesn't dress up at least every now and then, maybe it sounds shallow to you or others, but i dont think it is it at all... its what i want in a woman so its what i should be able to have
    I'm glad another guy posted here. I agree with your statements on dressing up.

    I've been married for 5 years and to this day I still "dress up" when appropriate. I am not doing this to attract other ladies, but I literally "dress for the occasion".

    And when I was single, I looked for ladies that "dressed for the occasion". Whether it was a wedding, nightclub, her work, etc. There is a such thing as "appropriate attire".

    And, yes, if you want a guys attention (not every guys of course), you have to give him something to look at... this could be eye contact, a smile, hair, or other physical attributes.

    I'm sorry to break it to some of the people here but: Men tend to be visual and sex is a very strong drive for us. With that said, the good news is that we also have a conscience. We can learn to keep our sex drive under control as well as our eyes but THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THESE THINGS CEASE TO EXIST.

    Sorry about the CAPS, but I feel that some people just don't understand what I have stated in the previous paragraph.

    By the way, AMHD responders on this question: You all have given great responses!

    Peace.
    Always_helping's Avatar
    Always_helping Posts: 76, Reputation: 15
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    #25

    Aug 1, 2008, 10:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mimi03
    Ok this is my last post here.

    I hope you can someday (very soon hopefully) realize intellect is not everything. And although you claim to be very smart YOU came here for advice and now you are unhappy with the advice that has been given and feel that no one is answering your post correctly, no one is considering the "facts" you've given.

    This reminds me of the girls that say: "All of my boyfriends have been jerks, they never take me out on dates, call me names, make me feel bad about myself...."

    Well at some point that woman has to look at herself to figure out why she is getting involved with only those type of men/relationships....
    Wow... I couldn't have said it better myself. <insert highfive here>
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #26

    Aug 1, 2008, 10:52 AM
    I agree. When I always wear my jeans and a nice shirt I am like invisible but let me wear even a casual sun dress and a little eye shadow then people notice me more.
    I too get the impression that others image is 'book worm' not interested in socializing.
    Sometimes you have to go outside of your comfort zone just a little to get others to notice you. Find colors that make you stand out. Like I can see you with some gold eyeshadow and some navy shade eyelash color. And a nice dressy but casual dress that makes people notice.

    Never compromise your morals or values though.
    iDish's Avatar
    iDish Posts: 46, Reputation: 7
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    #27

    Aug 1, 2008, 11:11 AM
    Uhhh Like I said Always_helping, I don't need or advice or your 'help' so keep whatever is on your mind about the subject to yourself and leave me and my posts alone. I only hope I can avoid idiots like you who are as 'visual' as you continue to say. No one should behave that way.

    Flash84x, your example doesn't even make sense. Just because you are in the engineering field doesn't mean you are smart. I can't fix cars but I know people who can and they are as dumb as a ton of bricks. What you are talking about deals with TOPICS. Not how smart you are. Cause a dumb person could bring up something that the other party has no clue about. But that doesn't make them any less dumb. And you wouldn't date a girl who didn't dress up? Jeez, I hope I don't end up with a man like you either. Dumping me for not owning a dress. I could get along great with a man but my wardrobe could literally make or break the relationship. That's terrible.

    And yes, I own no dresses. I don't like dresses. I see no point in dresses when they only make mobility even more challenging. There is more to worry about. Whether people can see through it. Whether it gets caught on itself and your underwear is showing. When the wind blows. Walking up stairs and people looking up your dress. Why bother when jeans do a better job.

    Sassy lioness, thank you. Your comment is about the only one that made good sense (even though you need a few periods).

    'I' sure did come here for advice mimi and all I got were some no-good suggestions from people who don't pay attention. All I needed was one good USABLE piece of advice. Instead I've gotten 3 pages worth of garbage. I know I'm not a 'know it all' because I have friends. Many of them. No one would want to even be around me if I were a know it all so that was just dumb of you to assume.

    Jesus, I really wish I hadn't posted this question. Had I have known I'd get these kinds of responses, I would have just tried to figure it out on my own. All of you just leave my post alone. You're not competent enough to help me.
    flash84x's Avatar
    flash84x Posts: 55, Reputation: 7
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    #28

    Aug 1, 2008, 11:14 AM
    LOL I think it has become clear why no one wants to date you, sorry.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #29

    Aug 1, 2008, 11:16 AM
    Do you have any girls you feel close enough to ask for some pointers?

    It seems to me like you do come off as very set in your ways to the point that nobody can do any thing right so maybe that in itself scares guys off.

    You don't want to hear suggestions of what you might try so all that can possibly be left is critic on what you might be doing that may scare a guy off.

    Do you ever have conversations with guys at all in any way?
    Do you have any guy friends?
    DrJ's Avatar
    DrJ Posts: 1,328, Reputation: 339
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    #30

    Aug 1, 2008, 01:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by iDish
    LIKE I SAID, no such thing as being too smart, appearing to smart, acting too smart, feeling too smart, and so forth. No such thing. For they do not make or break an impression. No man can give me one good example where the girl was too smart.

    Well, iDish... sounds like you have it ALL figured out.

    ... good luck with that ;)

    Quote Originally Posted by iDish

    'I' sure did come here for advice mimi and all I got were some no-good suggestions from people who don't pay attention. All I needed was one good USABLE piece of advice. Instead I've gotten 3 pages worth of garbage. I know I'm not a 'know it all' because I have friends. Many of them. No one would want to even be around me if I were a know it all so that was just dumb of you to assume.

    Jesus, I really wish I hadn't posted this question. Had I have known I'd get these kinds of responses, I would have just tried to figure it out on my own. All of you just leave my post alone. You're not competent enough to help me.
    Whether you chose to recognize it or not, there are things that you do, ways that you act, that instinctively make males (and plenty females) NOT want to approach you. If you want someone to want YOU for YOU, you have to open the door enough for them to see who YOU really are. If you are waiting for your knight in shining armor to walk up, take one look into your eyes, and fall madly in love with you... good luck. Hurry and wait. But if you want to simply be approachable so that those who may get the wrong first impression of you have a CHANCE of getting to know the REAL you, then you better head some of the advice given in this "piece of garbage" thread that you started.

    And not to toot my own flippin horn but I have studied and successfully mastered many areas in the art of attraction. I guess some could say that I am "too smart" haha I don't dress up.. in fact, I am one of the most under dressed people of everywhere that I go out. I'm not the most handsomest or fittest people around either and yet, I have no problem with women approaching me. I'm smarter than the average bear but I don't go around acting like it... it puts people off. I think the majority of us have quite a few numbers of years of experience on you and yet you insist that you've got all the answers and that we "don't know nutthin." Well, smarty pants... you tell us... why haven't you been able to get a date?
    snowalps's Avatar
    snowalps Posts: 141, Reputation: 7
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    #31

    Aug 1, 2008, 01:14 PM
    I would just like to comment on your subject line, I haven't read your post. Never say "no one wants me". You should never ever say that about yourself. Ever. Nothing is constant. It just happens to be a phase in the end.
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #32

    Aug 1, 2008, 01:36 PM
    You are just like me. I am in my early twenties and I've told I am a beautiful person although I never had a boyfriend telling me that.

    I didn't want to date because I feel school and career is more important and I don't flirt anyway.
    I sometimes feel lonely and want to have a boyfriend just like you.

    But hey girl, you didn't miss anything, keep being a good girl don't let anyone bring you down! :)
    iDish's Avatar
    iDish Posts: 46, Reputation: 7
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    #33

    Aug 1, 2008, 04:58 PM
    I said stop it. All of you!
    flash84x's Avatar
    flash84x Posts: 55, Reputation: 7
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    #34

    Aug 1, 2008, 05:02 PM
    This thread almost comes off as trolling to me, someone should just delete/lock it.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #35

    Aug 1, 2008, 05:05 PM
    You can request the post be closed by the moderators.
    bman800's Avatar
    bman800 Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
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    #36

    Aug 2, 2008, 08:46 PM
    If you really want a guy to come up and ask you out try and look nice when you know you are going out to a place where many men may be I'm sure that there are many guys that would love you but can't JUST look pretty have a couple of friends there but not too many every once in a while if you see a guy looking at you or somethhing just step away from your friends so there is less pressure for the man that has his eye on you just go get another drink. Then he may or may not aproach you just show your great attitude .looking good always helps to get there attention,but once you talk to them they will realize that your great and deffinitly ask you out! But you have to make sure you are not always in your room or w.e go out to places where you can meet guys.good luck and hope you find someone!
    DrJ's Avatar
    DrJ Posts: 1,328, Reputation: 339
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    #37

    Aug 3, 2008, 10:54 AM
    Maybe locked but not deleted...

    There is a lot to be learned from this thread... there are ALSO some answers to the original post ;)
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #38

    Aug 3, 2008, 11:56 AM
    It's good you're still a virgin and haven't dated. Many teens think they can handle the responsibility as "adults" and wuss out after the consequences appear. Don't feel bad about being single.... you follow your heart and life instead of the common group where people are stupid about their choices.
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #39

    Aug 4, 2008, 07:37 AM
    I am sorry OP, did I say anything wrong?
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #40

    Aug 15, 2008, 01:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by iDish
    ...I only hope I can avoid idiots like you...

    ...Just because you are in the engineering field doesn't mean you are smart...

    ...Sassy lioness, thank you. Your comment is about the only one that made good sense (even though you need a few periods)...

    'I' sure did come here for advice mimi and all I got were some no-good suggestions from people who don't pay attention. All of you just leave my post alone. You're not competent enough to help me.
    Wow... even in her one "thank you" she had to throw in an insult about use of periods.

    How you dress means nothing anyway when you have this sort of attitude. I've asked this question to be locked, since you have as much insulted most who wasted their time posting and you've pretty much said there is no help for you here.

    To those who were insulted, id suggest using the Ignore feature

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