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see_this_angel · Jul 22, 2008, 08:40 PM

Hello, I have a 7month old daughter and her father is a truck driver. He is having issues with me moving on with my life, what are his visitation rights to see her? Is it every other weekend or can he take her every time he is home?

Fr_Chuck · Jul 22, 2008, 08:42 PM

His rights will be what ever he wins in court. Since he is not home all the time, but if he was, he can try and get every other week ( joint custody)
It is seldom every other weekend unless he does not even try to get any visits.

see_this_angel · Jul 22, 2008, 08:49 PM

I have full custody. The visitation was set at the f.o.c. to what ever we decided together. Now that I'm moving on he says that I don't want him in her life so he wants her all the time. I'm afraid if I tell him he cannot come and set at my home all day long with her then he will take her to his home every time he is home instead of every other time.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 22, 2008, 08:58 PM

I can't image he would stay at your home and visit anyway, and yes you can expect him to start wanting her to stay with him at his home before long.

And if you are not going to be local any longer, ( he could even request the court not to let you move out of state if you were moving too far)

But he will get fair visits if he has been visiting some and asks the court.
You may request like limited visits away from you to start and so on, but he will get them

natasjo · Jul 22, 2008, 08:59 PM

You have to think of the interest of the child here... she is young now but you will eventually want her to know both mother and father... that is if the father even truly wants to be a part of her life... I had an issue with my ex and my daughter... as soon as I moved on he wanted to see her all the time... which was fine but not long after I realized that he was only trying to get to me... hopefully this is not the case in your situation

see_this_angel · Jul 24, 2008, 07:03 AM

He takes her home every other time he is home. And I have allowed that for a while now. I do want her to know her father and his family. I just don't want him to take her home every time. I work a lot and want time too. And no I won't be moving out of the area. And yes he does visit with her at my home and tries to stay very late even after she goes to bed for the night. He is a good father, its just that most of my family drives truck also and they are all home around the same time and I want her to know my family too.

ScottGem · Jul 24, 2008, 07:08 AM

If the court set up no specific scheduled, leaving it up to you, then what you need to do is draw up a schedule and present it to him. Tell him that this is when he can see his daughter and for how long and where. Tell him that, as she gets older you can revise the schedule. If he doesn't like the schedule, then tell him you will go back to the courts to make it official.

smokedetector · Jul 24, 2008, 07:25 AM

The only way you can make it less often or he can make it more often is if you BOTH agree, as per your papers. I personally think wording the custody like that is a catch 22 in that he can't take her if you don't agree, but you can't keep her from him if he doesn't agree. However, since you have full custody, it might be more your decision, I don't know. If you are starting to have problems, I would go back to court. If he has a crazy schedule, which I imagine, and you can't do the "you get her this day of the week" because he isn't always home on that day, then I suggest you set it to where he gets her so many days out of the month or so many days in a two week period, or every other time he is home. You can word it however it will work for the two of you, there is no "word bank" you have to choose from if you understand what I mean (every other weekend + Wednesday, every other week, etc). The way my parents did it, they had a very specific custody agreement, and then when things cooled down and they started being friends again, they would switch weekends, and now they both get them whenever, like they were married but living in different houses. Hopefully things work out for you this way. Best of luck.

see_this_angel · Jul 26, 2008, 11:14 PM

Thank you for your help. I really appreciate it. We are friends when I do as he wishes. He takes her home to his house every other time he is home for 2 days. Then on the opposite time he gets her for one over night. I just wasn't sure if he could get her all the time if I were to say "hey im sorry but i have plans so you can't see her today" when its not his turn to take her home.